


50 things William T. Spears can no longer do

by MongooseLady23



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Funny, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7032745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MongooseLady23/pseuds/MongooseLady23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a list I made of things I imagine the higher ups telling William T. Spears he cant do anymore. I only wrote this because I was tired of writing romatic fanfiction and wanted to do something funny. I'm not really expecting this to get too many kudos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 things William T. Spears can no longer do

50 Things William T. Spears can no longer do

By MongooseLady23

1\. I am no longer allowed to replace everyone’s IPhone with carrier pigeons.  
2\. Nor there Galaxy.  
3\. Nor any smartphone.  
4\. Even if I think it makes them more efficient because they’ll be doing more time doing work and less time playing Candy Crush.  
5\. I am no longer allowed to replace everyone’s computer with a type writer.  
6\. Even if I catch someone playing candy Crush or Farmville while they’ll supposed to be working.  
7\. I am no longer allowed to take my pigeons to work.  
8\. I am no longer allowed to keep my pigeons in my office.  
9\. Even if they get lonely being alone at home when I’m working.  
10\. I am no longer allowed to go drinking with Grell Sutcliff.  
11\. Last time I did I woke up next to him in bed and he had a pillow under his clothes pretending to be pregnant with my love child.  
12\. I am not allowed to kill Grell.  
13\. I am no longer allowed to beat Grell to the point of near death.  
14\. I am not allowed to reap Grell.  
15\. I am not allowed to show Ronald Knox every person on the To die list that is about to die from excessive partying, Drug use or Drinking.  
16\. He’ll freak out and won’t stop crying all day.  
17\. Even if I remind him He can’t die because he’s a reaper.  
18\. I am no longer allowed to replace everyone’s computer with books.  
19\. Even if I think they’ll get smarter by reading.  
20\. I’m also not allowed to replace everyone’s Kindle with books.  
21\. I am no longer allowed to get drunk around Ronald Knox.  
22\. If I do it’s a bad idea because he will scribble insults on my face.  
23\. I am not allowed to use my Deathscythe to hit my co-workers.  
24\. Even if they deserve it.  
25\. It also won’t make them get there work done faster.  
26\. They are reapers not horses.  
27\. I am not allowed to replace Grells usual clothes with a black suit.  
28\. Even if his clothes are against the dress code.  
29\. He will try to kill me if I do.  
30\. I am also not allowed to give him a haircut.  
31\. Even if his long hair is a distraction and against the dress code.  
32\. I am not allowed to talk to Sebastian anymore.  
33\. I am also not allowed to send chain letters to him anymore.  
34\. I am also not allowed to write letters to him telling him he’s a dirty rotten scumbag demon and should burn in the hell from which he came.  
35\. Even if it’s true.  
36\. I am not allowed to step foot on the Phantomhive manor estate.  
37\. I am not allowed to send chain letters to Claude.  
38\. Nor can I send threatening letters telling him to burn in hell.  
39\. Or any type of letters.  
40\. I am not allowed to ask Claude to stop copying me.  
41\. I am no longer allowed to tell Claude to give back the glasses he stole from reapers back.  
42\. He didn’t steal them from any reapers.  
43\. Nor did he steal them from any reapers corpses.  
44\. I am no longer allowed on the Tracy Estate.  
45\. I am not allowed to train my carrier pigeons to poop on Sebastian and Claude.  
46\. They both will kill me if I do that again.  
47\. I am not allowed to confiscate everyone’s IPod.  
48\. Even if I think the music is a distraction.  
49\. I am no longer allowed to Stalk Eric Slingby.  
50\. Even if I think he’s collecting souls for Alan again.  
51\. I am not allowed to hit Student Reapers with my Deathscythe.  
52\. My Deathscythe is not a training stick.  
53\. I am no longer allowed any more then 3 cups of coffee a day.  
54\. If I drink anymore then that then I get jittery and can’t keep my scythe steady.


End file.
